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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Busy Ass Boras

This'll be a quick one.  Boras has to pay the bills.

Here's your top 5 scoring Wide Receivers, and the patented TAR (Tim's Actual Ranking - with explanations and shit)

1:  Austin Collie       TAR:  9
Why is his TAR so low when he's the number 1 ranked receiver through a quarter of the season?
Is that really the first question you're asking?  I would think your first question would be:
Who the shit is Austin Collie?

Ahh...another clean cut non-QB white NFL talent...so refreshing.
He kinda looks like Wes Welker.  He kinda runs routes like Wes Welker.  He kinda catches like Wes Welker.
Let's just call him Wes Welker and be done with it.  Will he stay #1?  No.  Reggie Wayne is more likely.  Or Andre.  Or Calvin.  Or Roddy.  Or Miles.  Or Fitz...nevermind.
Regardless, being a top 10 wideout comes down to how much your QB likes to throw to you.  Collie is a legitimate top 15 receiver when he's healthy, and given his start I'm going to call him a top 10.  Who cares about Pierre Garcon - players named Pierre are overrated this year.
Here's the thing:  Collie is a perfect #2 receiver for your fantasy team, but some people may think he has #1 status.  Put this to use:  try and stir up some offers in your league for a top 15 running back.  There are plenty of wide receivers comparable to Collie who you can get for less: Driver, Floyd, Bess, Bowe...

2:  Reggie Wayne      TAR: 1
Most everyone thought Batman was due for a huge statistical drop-off this season, including Boras.  I passed on him.  Foolish.  What we didn't realize was A) The Colts are a good, not great team, and B) Clark and Collie are at the top of their games.   This is opening things up for Wayne on a consistent basis.  He may not grab a ton of touchdowns this year, but don't be surprised if he has multiple games with over 10 catches.
As good as he is, and as good as he's been, don't shy away from trading him if you can get 2 good players out of it.  For instance, if you can get a top 15 running back and a top 15 wide receiver, it's probably worth it.  The TDs are too unpredictable for the Colts, whereas with some teams in the league you know whose hands the majority of them will end up in.  Get me?
No?
Sorry, it's late.

3:  Anquan Boldin        TAR:  6
Best asian in football, hands down.  He puts Dat Nyugen to shame:

Ok, he isn't asian.  But he does have samurai skills, chopping up secondaries left and right.  On a team with Mason, Rice, and Housh, Quan has emerged as Joe Cool's go-to receiver.  I rank him 6 because I can name 5-8 receivers who are more talented.  However, Joe hasn't looked too solid this year, and with his Ravens bound for a nice playoff race you can expect him to go with what works.  Quan was likely a great mid round pickup for you in your draft, and someone you should feel safe starting the rest of the season, even against tougher defenses.  His fast start can give you nice trade leverage, so you should definitely test the waters and see if any Cardinals/Ravens fans want to get their filthy hands on him.

4: Hakeem Nicks           TAR:  10
I wasn't a big Nicks fan until I moved to Jersey and was forced to watch Giants games.  The rumors are true. Nicks is a beast.  He's got size, he's got hands, he's got route running skills, and he has a QB who isn't afraid to air it out.  I do think Nicks has been overachieving fantasy-wise.  Some of his touchdowns have been garbage-time deep routes where the defense didn't give much effort.  Steve Smith is going to get plenty of looks, as is Mario Manningham as coaches start to gameplan around Nicks.
The good news:  Ahmad Bradshaw has looked solid, giving the Giants a formidable running attack they didn't have with Brandon Jacobs running the show.
Nicks will have a solid year, though I don't expect too many more big showings out of him.  It's a great time to trade him:  don't believe me?  Well, I just did.  So fuck off.

5:   Brandon Lloyd            TAR:  ???  20?
I think he's the second most attractive receiver on his team.  He's been catching a lot of balls, but Eddie Royal has the most game-changing ability on the Broncos.  Orton has been looking at Lloyd more, but that's going to end up hurting him as coaches gameplan on shutting him down.  Expect Royal to eat up the slot receptions ala Welker/Collie.
Lloyd is really ranked above Roddy White?  RIDICULOUS!
Trade this guy while he's still ranked high.  Most of you probably just picked him up off the waiver wire, but I'm certain you can get yourself a running back of "Beanie Wells" quality - while not actually getting Beanie Wells.  Cardinals running = poopy time.
TRADE HIM.  JUST DO IT.

I won't give you my top 10 wide receivers.  This is a receiver year - it's a deep position with multiple threats on each team - well, most teams.  Either way, we all know who the legit receivers are, and most of you are smart enough to understand who has been overachieving.  If you're not sure, ask me.  I'll tell you.  Me and receivers are like THIS, SON:
                  This is me and Braylon Edwards - after a night of drinking.

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